After yet another lockdown was announced, I was feeling hopeless. I wondered if I was losing my touch? I hadn’t been able to practice any of my massage techniques properly for months.


I begged my boyfriend Sam to be my client, but he was more focused on winning his FIFA tournament. However, after offering to drive to the amazing collection only Chinese takeaway 20 minutes away, I had him convinced.

My dad had put down some fresh new pebbles for us just days before as part of our front garden revamp the week before, the timing couldn’t have been better. They were perfect; small, medium, smooth, rounded. The real deal.
When the evening arrived, I grabbed an old metal bucket from the garage and tiptoed around the driveway.
One, two, three, four, five. That should do it.

Once back indoors, I whacked the gas hob on full blast and boiled the pebbles. Once hot enough, I removed the excess water and placed them back into the metal bucket for transportation purposes. I didn’t want my shiny new Waitrose pan filled with olive oil and pebbles. I didn’t care about the bucket.
After a sprinkling of olive oil, the stones were ready.
I placed a plate on top to keep the heat in and grabbed a pair of silver tongs for good measure.
Although I hadn’t quite splashed out on a full hot stones massage kit, being a beauty therapist, I did make sure my house had a serene, aromatherapy room with a Bluetooth speaker.
So, I took my steaming bucket of hot pebbles and placed it next to the massage bed.

It was time.

My boyfriend was on the edge of the sofa screaming at the tv, PlayStation controller in hand, so close to the screen that I was surprised it hadn’t absorbed him. Bits of prawn cracker gathered around his trackies.
“Sam…Sam…oh my god. SAM!” I cried.
“What?” he grunted, with his eyes still fixated on the TV.
“You promised!”
With a sigh, he got up from the sofa and followed me into the aromatherapy room.
He laid down reluctantly on the bed and closed his eyes. I rattled the BBQ tongs around in the bucket, trying to select the perfect stone.
After a few minutes, I grabbed the stone right at the bottom edge of the bucket. It took a while to get the tongs around it, I wasn’t sure why.
I gently placed the stones on Sam’s back and waited for his sigh of relaxation.
“Ahh, this is nice babe. Dunno why I ever said no!” said Sam.
I smiled. I turned around to change the song on my playlist.
“Err…did you put more than one stone on? I feel one of them moving.”
“No just the one,” I said, without turning around.
“What is going on,” Sam puzzled as he sat up from the bed.
I finally found the song I was looking for and turned around to grab the tongs.
My eyes widened.
A huge, black slug was making its way across Sam’s back.
“Oh no!!” I exclaimed.
“What?” said Sam.
“Um…nothing…I just need to change the…” I muttered.
Sam reached around to touch his back.
“Eurgh! What on earth?!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was in the bucket as well…” I said, trying to cover my laugh.
He stood up, sulking off to resume his FIFA game.


It’s safe to say, I’ll be picking up the takeaways for a while!

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